Saturday, September 12, 2009

A Bumpkin Looks At Forty

Yes, that's correct in about 100 days The Bumpkin will be 40. Thoughts on 40, well, they aren't that good my bloggy friends. As a matter of fact, I would say they are actually depressing. Two years ago, I was hyped about 40, feeling I would surely be Fabulous Forty. Now it seems, Failure Forty is more accurate.
All those things I wanted to do, and didn't. Habits I should have broke, millions I should have made, pounds I should have lost, friends I should have treasured, milestones I should have put behind me, places I should have traveled to, books I should have written, all before 40. Those two numbers seem to be stalking me at this point. Open the closet, 4-0. Look in the mirror, 4-0. Balancing the checkbook, 4-0. Fall Fashions, 4-0. Career, 4-0. Reading, blogging, and even movies, 4-0.
It's everywhere this four-o. I have been translating these demonic numbers as Life= 4 decades... The Bumpkin= 0.
I know right this second you are all shouting, Paxil, Zoloft, Wellbutrin, Lexapro, Prozac, Effexor, Cymbalta, and Xanax. Maybe your'e right, maybe not. I guess I really am taking this hard, my naps seem to be more often, and last a little longer. Actually to be honest, it's more like "Screw it, I'll just head to bed instead." Depression is not a usual member of my circle of friends, but she's recently been promoted to BFF status.
I guess the biggest issue is my career, and maritial status that are really waying on me. As some of my regular readers know, I was down-sized from a great paying job in September of last year. Due to the economy, jobs are few and far between in South Mississippi nowadays. Jobs that pay that I was making virtually non-existent. The competition is ruthless. 300 resume's for every job posted. Casino's are on skeleton staff, and the rest are out there searching flooding the availability.

1 comment:

Bella Michelle said...

Well, I hit 40 this year....yep. And it has been...ah, lets say difficult????? Well, maybe we can find the fabulous together.